It was the beginning of their third summer in Long Beach.
Bilko was walking Hormat back to the Old English Cedar after dinner and backgammon at Aata Bakes.
Hormat asked Bilko if he was up for yet another game and he nodded, but instead of playing they sat out on the porch swing sipping sweet red wine and talking. It had been a while since they had been alone and talked.
“I’m sorry.”, Hormat said, she wasn’t thinking, it just slipped out.
“For what?” Bilko asked, bouncing slightly with a chuckle. He put his arm over the back of the wooden swing and looked at her, smiling.
“For not telling you,” she started and realized what she was doing. Looked down, looked away, decided it would be now, “I am sorry for not telling you that I love you and all those years,” she was crying, “I think I understand. I am so sorry.”
She folded into his arms and Bilko held her, stunned and confused.
“What are you apologizing for?” he said crying.
“Because I know you didn’t mean it,” she said sobbing, she pulled a way from him, kissed him quickly and ran inside the house and up the stairs.
O, the sound of the door clapping against the wood frame, the cry of the springs, her footsteps on the stairs and the light that flowed out of the house through the screen door, rich as butter.
Bilko sat for a moment, staring at nothing, his face broken in anguish.
Hormat had just spoken to the only thought on his mind since that night with Lori.
Then he started balling like a baby unable to see or hear or think.
When he was done crying, he sat up in the swing. Then, he just sat for a while, swinging slightly, in a fugue.
Saleh came by and asked if he would like to join him for a drink and Bilko, still red eyed and weepy, nodded.